About Us

Arvel Haywood

CEO

Whoa, slow down there, maestro. There's a *New* Mexico? Duffman can't breathe! OH NO! "Thank the Lord"? That sounded like a prayer. A prayer in a public school. God has no place within these walls, just like facts don't have a place within an organized religion. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me?

Our differences are only skin deep, but our sames go down to the bone. We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies. Please do not offer my god a peanut.

Natasha Milica

Art Director

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! Oh, a *sarcasm* detector. Oh, that's a *really* useful invention! I've done everything the Bible says — even the stuff that contradicts the other stuff! And here I am using my own lungs like a sucker. Kids, we need to talk for a moment about Krusty Brand Chew Goo Gum Like Substance.

We all knew it contained spider eggs, but the hantavirus? That came out of left field. So if you're experiencing numbness and/or comas, send five dollars to antidote, PO box… I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world.

Josephina Catrin

Illustrator / Web Designer

You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity. Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds! Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? Homer no function beer well without.

Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen. I'll be back. You can't keep the Democrats out of the White House forever, and when they get in, I'm back on the streets, with all my criminal buddies. Your questions have become more redundant and annoying than the last three "Highlander" movies.

Odin Orson

Web Designer

Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing? A woman is a lot like a refrigerator. Six feet tall, 300 pounds…it makes ice. You know, the one with all the well meaning rules that don't work out in real life, uh, Christianity. Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Life on the Fast Lane

I like my beer cold, my TV loud and my homosexuals flaming. When I held that gun in my hand, I felt a surge of power…like God must feel when he's holding a gun. Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel.

Anne Manju

Illustrator

I hope this has taught you kids a lesson: kids never learn. How could you?! Haven't you learned anything from that guy who gives those sermons at church? Captain Whatshisname? We live in a society of laws! Why do you think I took you to all those Police Academy movies? For fun? Well, I didn't hear anybody laughing, did you? Except at that guy who made sound effects. Makes sound effects and laughs.

Where was I? Oh yeah! Stay out of my booze. Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

The Itchy and Scratchy and Poochie Show

Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city! Brace yourselves gentlemen. According to the gas chromatograph, the secret ingredient is… Love!? Who's been screwing with this thing? Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. Jesus must be spinning in his grave!

Brian Leon

Developer

Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals…except the weasel. Here's to alcohol, the cause of — and solution to — all life's problems. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. Last night's "Itchy and Scratchy Show" was, without a doubt, the worst episode *ever.* Rest assured, I was on the Internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world.

Hurricane Neddy

I'm going to the back seat of my car, with the woman I love, and I won't be back for ten minutes! We started out like Romeo and Juliet, but it ended up in tragedy. Please do not offer my god a peanut. Uh, no, you got the wrong number. This is 9-1…2. They only come out in the night. Or in this case, the day. Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get.

Jenny Arij

Photographer

I can't go to juvie. They use guys like me as currency. Ahoy hoy? I'm normally not a praying man, but if you're up there, please save me, Superman.

Remember the time he ate my goldfish? And you lied and said I never had goldfish. Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? *Why did I have the bowl?* Books are useless! I only ever read one book, "To Kill A Mockingbird," and it gave me absolutely no insight on how to kill mockingbirds!

Sure it taught me not to judge a man by the color of his skin…but what good does *that* do me? Can't you people take the law into your own hands? I mean, we can't be policing the entire city!

Pixel

Mascot

I'm a Spalding Gray in a Rick Dees world. Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman — and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing. You don't like your job, you don't strike. You go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.